http://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2014/07/19/youre-twisting-my-melon-norman/

We can't achieve anything without something in the kitty to pay for speakers and events to get the message over so come for a large slice of veggie, Caribbean themed reggae pie at the Black Lion on Saturday 19th July 2014.

Please tell your friends and come and join us for a few beers 

I see Bill bloody Norman has been shoving his weight around and stopped me raising much needed funds for the W.G.T.S. Oh we've had the letter that's heavily loaded with The Latin and banning the parachute jump because of public safety issues.

Basically my mate Arthur who fought in at least three World Wars was going to fly me up in his Cessna, reach an altitude of fifteen thousand feet up above Widemarsh Common, I was going to jump out together with an old MFI flat pack wardrobe and during my fall toward terra firma I was going to assemble the wardrobe, shut the doors, deploy the parachute and when I landed, I'd open the doors to be greeted to applause for my part in this remarkable feat on human recklessness. Course, Norman, being all high and bloody mighty reckoned that having a roof on the wardrobe would make deploying the parachute near on impossible and, if I didn't manage to fix the bloody hinges properly to the doors, folk minding their own business living beneath my drop zone would be subjected to untold horrors if ever the flat pack landed on their heads.

That said, Bill has settled an argument with the W.G.T.S and me. I wasn't entirely happy to jump on behalf of We've Got The Syphillis. I'd begged them to change their name to the T.G.T.S. My thoughts were when I opened the doors of the wardrobe I didn't want to be met by folk saying, 'Bravo! You wouldn't think he'd got the Syphillis would you'. I wouldn't want that because I have not got The Syphillis and anyone who says I have is a liar and an embellisher. I have not got The Syphillis!

But, no, they wouldn't agree to 'They've Got The Syphillis' and frankly who can blame them and so the whole fund raising thing has been cancelled because of Bill and his heavy handed approach to good men and women who've behaved in a promiscuous way and through no fault of their own they caught the terrible disease The Syphillis.

I'll tell you now, if Bill ever comes knocking on my door and asks, 'if you catch The Syphillis do you get a bright red itchy rash around the testicals', I'll say, 'How would I bloody know. I have not got the Syphillis and I resent you thinking that I have.' I'd tell him, 'clear off. Go bother someone else. This is a good God fearing family home and when we agree to intercourse with folk we know little about we ensure that we wear a bunch of ribbed strawberry flavoured condoms. Now buggar off and don't come back'.

Mind, I ain't saying Bill has The Syphillis. Not at all. And if Bill reads this pigswill and mutters, 'how does he know about the rash around my testicals', I don't know. It was just a lucky guess.

Two screenings of the award-winning Palestinian film 'Omar' are at the Courtyard on Monday 21 July (6.00pm) and Tuesday 22 July (8.00pm).

Your chance to show solidarity with the oppressed people of Gaza.

And now, some ten years after it first began, they've finally said the unsayable, our rivers and lakes are being stripped of the fish. Oddly enough, they ain't saying that its the work of The Fifteen and they ain't implying that the British are to blame, which, given my hostility to this European Union is a load of worry off as far as Im concerned.

Mind, they didn't mention the industrial scale slaughter of the Swans, the duck species and anything else that crawls, walks and scurries about upon this great and wonderful green island of hope and dreams. If they catch it, they'll eat it and there's little that can be done to stop it.

Why would anyone wish to catch and eat a barbel? The Chubb, the carp and all the other varieties of Course Fish don't escape the cooking pot either. The Pike for example. A thoroughly nasty predator if anything I say is worth a blind bit if notice. This particular creature of God is seen as the most tasty and in some areas that once lay beyond that Berlin Wall that was torn down, the Pike is a delicacy.

Why did the ever start eating the fish in the first place? Because they were starving. Any money that their state ever earned was invested in a missile that was aimed at me. Now, these areas that once lay beyond that wall have few fish in the rivers and lakes. They've all been eaten and unless something dramatic happens, the same fate awaits us.

Can you stop it? No you bloody can't. It's much to late. No matter how many times you tell them to stop killing the fish, no matter how many family bar b q's you interrupt on the Wye that sees hordes nibbling away upon the flesh of these poor creatures, they completely ignore you, carry on and laugh at the futility of your personal protest. And they're right, it is pointless.

We, at the Hereford District Anglers Association, have all had to have photographs affixed to our permits. Why? Because the Bailiffs discovered that one licence was being shared by dozens of them who all came down to the river to catch their supper. It's been going on for years.

The local supermarkets now sell Coarse fish because the desire to eat these fish is so high and profitable. Does it help? A little perhaps, but why pay for something when its free from our rivers and lakes.

The shops! The ones who sell the illicit booze to The Fifteen. They sell Barbel as well. The Bailiffs have found them in the freezers and been told, 'they were caught in our Country'. Despite the fact that they've no bloody fish left swimming in their Country, nothing can be done to stop this relentless onslaught upon our wonderful way of life that is 'Catch And Release'.

And this stuff Im shovelling out. It's no urban myth. It's no piece of tittle tattle that's spread, takes on a life of its own and becomes distorted and out of control. It happens every single day of the week. You sit there, they catch a fish, they drag it onto the bank, hit it and kill it, into a carrier bag and away they go to eat their supper.

Course, sometimes they like to eat something different. They arrive with an odd looking stick with a wire noose on it. Then, they start throwing bits of bread onto the water gently encouraging the bird to paddle ever closer to its fate that is, the cooking pot and their stomach. There is no end to it. Nothing you can say changes any of it. It's become a pointless excercise. Better to sit there, mind your own business and simply accept its a cultural thing and they're bloody hungry.

Sadly, I've seen the British kids doing it and when you challenge them they tell you, 'we are going to sell it to the fruit pickers. They love it'. The whole thing is out if control and its taken near on ten years to get the authorities to become brave enough to say, 'we have a problem'.

I am compiling a list of organisations with links to the council, many of which appear to be duplicating the work of one another and the council and involving in many cases the same names popping up at the helm. Feel free to add any you know or have come across.

12:56pm Tuesday 8th July 2014 in News

POLICE investigating a serious assault in Hereford want to speak to a group of teenagers who may be able to help them with their enquiries.

A 27-year-old man needed surgery after his jaw was broken in two places after being punched near the Lichfield Vaults pub in Church Street.

The assault happened after he earlier refused to buy the group of six alcohol.

The teenagers are described as being aged 16 or 17 and wearing jeans and trainers.

Anyone with information about the assault that happened at 12.30am on Saturday, June 14 can call police on 101, quoting incident number 425-s-150614.

Alternatively, you can call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555111.

Hereford Times

I see that the Grapes is up for sale.

I have just read this article in the HT.

Leisure property specialists Fleurets is asking for offers in the region of £365,000 for the Grapes Tavern.

The firm states that the venue, on the corner of East Street and Church Street, makes around £497,000 in annual sales.

It adds that it remains a traditional pub, but a 'value for money' food service and a 'coffee shop' area are more recent and increasingly important sources of trade.

A basement bar, with its own timber servery, stone walls, flagstone flooring and toilets, is also provided, as is a a cellar storing beer and wine.

Three bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a large office are part of the living accommodation, with a roof terrace with tables and chairs adding to the venue's character.

And when they come a knocking and say, 'please vote for me', you need to think long and hard about who should win your vote and who you'll opt for in the polling station booth.

They'll all say this, that and the other to win your favour and, moreoften than not, you'll cast your vote for the one who you think is the more open, honest and frank with you. That's what we want really. Honesty from the Candidate. But of course, finding a Candidate who you know is being honest with you ain't that easy. Often, after they've left your threshold you'll be muttering, 'can I trust this person', and 'I didn't like the look of him. His eyes were set to close together'.

So, how can you be sure the person you are voting for is being honest with you? Well, today, after contributing to another topic, it suddenly struck me how easy it would be to establish whether or not a politician is being honest with you.

Masturbation! Yep, the thoroughly unpleasant act that all people engage in when a wicked and erotic thought races through their mind. Everyone does it. They do! They sneak off to some private place and masturbate and so, given that everyone does masturbate, when the local Candidate tips up on your doorstep begging to be given your vote, you ask that single question to establish whether or not they are being honest with you.

You say, 'I've listened carefully to all you've said, I like the look of you, your eyes look fine to me, do you masturbate? If that person says, 'Never. I say never! I'd sooner cut me bloody hand off with an axe than engage in that sort of activity', you tell him to, ' be gone. Clear off you dishonest person'.

Now, the Candidate that says, 'I'm so pleased you've asked me about this. Yes I do. In fact, more than I should do if the truth be known', then he's the one who wins your vote.

This is the Candidate who you should vote for. Why? Because he's displayed honesty and despite the fact that he clearly is mentally unwell,he's displayed a willingness to say anything to win your vote.

Mind, don't go voting for the Candidate who staggers up your path, knocks on your door and begins masturbating in front of you. Don't put up with that. Tell him to clear off and call for the Constable demanding that steps are taken to prevent this politician returning and masturbating again.

I wouldn't put up with that! If any politician ever tips up on my doorstep masturbating in front of me Im going to take the matter further. I'll be damned if I put up with that.

After a lot of complaints over the years and more than a few e-mails from me the petrol pumps at Tesco Express
in Ledbury Road are finally to be replaced at the beginning of July.

And there I was! Inside the Chief Executive's office within Plough Lane keen to learn why it was that affordable housing, intended to meet the needs of the homeless and the poor were being given over to Council staff who'd been able to reach the top of the Housing list with a little help from their friends.

'Now then' he said, ' I've upped my personal security since I've learned that your'e as mad as a ships cat. My minder here is going to search you'.

I said, 'I've nothing beneath my Crombie and I'll be damned if I allow you and your shaven headed primate to violate my person and fiddle about amongst the folds of my coat. Never! I'd sooner give up ale'.

Course, me rights enshrined within Magna Carta and me right to a fair measure of Habeas Corpus, were cast to one side and from beneath my coat they immediately confiscated sixteen bales of hay, twenty gallons of leaded petrol, a clipper lighter, an old sea farers pirate cutlass, a wooden stake and a generous length of rope that may have been useful to tether a senior public servant to a stake that might quickly have been turned into a bonfire.

He said, 'you'll not burn me at the stake. Not in here. Never. I'll be damned if I allow you to ignite that vast pile of hay that you managed to secrete beneath that tiny Crombie.'

As for my question, which I never really put to him, do any of you out there know anything about this latest piece of news which Im told is creating a great deal of worry amongst the hirearchy of the Council.

Im told that homes at The Furlongs have been taken by Council staff who've managed to acquire them despite the fact that these homes were intended for the needy, the homeless and the weak and the poor. If this tittle tattle is true, and I suspect it is, then you have to ask the question,'why has this been allowed to happen'? And, who helped it to happen?

Our neighbours had a few friends' around for a BBQ today ... With the entourage of kids' aged about 10/11 ... It all went downhill when the kids' started shooting foam missiles at my hounds' ... 

I've no problem with a BBQ but kids' out of control I have got a problem with ...

One missile landed in my kitchen. Good shot but it has pissed me off again. 

And they wonder why the dogs' bark! Morons ... 

I received this information from Keepmoat Homes (Midlands)

re- temporary traffic regulation order -U82100-The Oval, Newton farm, Hereford.

 

We are contacting you to advise of a temporary traffic order to close the one way system  with effect from Tuesday 8th July 2014, once the works have commenced, this order will remain in place for approximately 6 weeks. The road closures will be completed in two separate phases. During this period temporary traffic lights will be in place and bus service will be re-routed.

 

Refuse and recycling collections: Please ensure that refuse and recycling is presented by 6:30on your normal collection days throughout the period of the road works. Collection operatives will attemptto make collections but may change the collection time so that they can access your street/lane before or after works take place on collection day. If your collection does not take place on the normal collection day  please leave it presented until the following day as the collection contractors will make arrangements to attempt collection again.

 

We apologise for any disruption this may cause during the duration of the works. Should you have any further queries regarding this please do not hesitate to contact the site on 07531097751 or the technical Engineer, Tom Chew on 01675 461661.

 

Keepmoat Homes (Midland).

 

 

"...statistics from the Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) reveal that serious crashes on 20mph roads increased by 26% last year to 420 and accidents causing slight injury rose by 17%."

http://hm.sunshineradio.co.uk/news/uk-news/20mph-zone-road-crash-casualties-rise-by-26/

That's the question I ask myself nowadays whenever I see the New Labour front bench and the far left feminist lobby groups crying out begging the public to believe that 'Men are to blame'. What do the girls really want for themselves?

I love women. I really do. They are extraordinarily beautiful, they listen, they're compassionate and considerate to all, they're highly intelligent, better than men in so many many areas of life and they are adequately gifted with cunning and guile. In fact, I'll go further, in the main women are the cleverer of our species and Im glad that our society is beginning to mirror the changes that equality brings.

But, and this is the thing, in our thirst to make all equal and our near on hysterical obsession in trying to create the perfect society we now choose to ignore things that women were never designed to do.

Fighting for example. And I don't mean scratching, pulling hair and twirling a handbag about. Im on about stabbing some human in the guts with a bayonet, blowing their brains out with a bullet and worse, wresting another to the ground, gouging their eyes out and doing extraordinarily violent things to ensure you survive and your enemy doesn't.

And so, here we are today committed to allowing women to fight on the frontline during war and conflict so that the far left, 'Men are to blame' gang can celebrate another area of masculinity conquered in the name of equality.

Course, the politicians and the mandarins at the top of the Armed Forces pile will say, 'only those women who have passed the rigorous selection process will be allowed to face the enemy and roll around in the killing and the blood. I promise you one thing, women will pass that selection process. They'll pass because the politicuans, the mandarins and the feminist lobby groups will demand they pass.

In time the bar will be lowered ensuring that a seven stone woman will be given the opportunity to venture onto the frontline. Of course there'll be problems, the commanding officer will deploy this soldier a little further back from the front line than the feminist lobby groups would like, the army will get sued and before you know it the front of the battle, the killing zone will be littered with women who can barely carry their share of the load let alone fight and kill some deranged adversary who came charging over the hillock to happily find he was faced with fighting a young lady who represented Western Values that proclaim everyone is equal in the eyes of The Lord and our disfunctional society.

Fighting on the front line is not some game that can be played out from a distance watching a screen and pressing a button to dispatch your enemy. It's a simply dreadful arena to be in and women are not designed to do this. By taking this step the lives of men will be placed in danger. Not because the woman lacks courage and bravery and not because she can't hit the bullseye from eighty yards. It'll be because she was not designed by God to do what men are often required to do. Kill and create havoc and then manage to live with it for the rest of their lives.

There are difference between men and women and it has absolutely nothing to do with courage, how fast you can run a mile, how many press ups you can do and how good you are shooting on the firing range. The difference is entirely down to design and when Lee Rigby was slaughtered and the killer charged at the female Police officer, the stark difference in men and women was illustrated. The brave young lady Police Officer pulled out her Glock pistol and delivered a number of shots. These shots, and there were many and all delivered from very close range, all missed the target area of the killers body. Why? Because men and women are different and our society cannot be made perfect simply to accommodate a desire to get some young woman slaughtered and allow the left wing feminist lobby groups to create for themselves a hero for woman's rights.

I say to all the women, you've got the vote, you've become more empowered in the bedroom, you've got lovely fitted kitchens to knock up a lovely breakfast, you are fully entitled to drive and now you've taken moreorless everything else from us, have a heart, show some pity and leave us with the violence of fighting on the frontline of battle.