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Domestic Violence, let's fight it


Chris Chappell
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Posters, the week of 25th November is world week against domestic violence.

You may have read in the HT this week that of all crimes in the county are down, except Domestic Violence which has had an increase in the last 6 months in Herefordshire.

 

Domestic violence is one of the worst crimes to commit against another person. Women across Herefordshire are being treated with comptempt, physically and mentally. It effects children and others in the family. Domestic violence is happening in a house near you as you read this. So what are you doing about it?

 

Cllr Liz Chave and I want to take the opportunity in November, of highlighting the problem but we need your help. I am not an organiser but am sure that some posters are and can help to bring to this problem to the surface. 'The Wife' implies ownership, slavery, contempt. You can hear it said almost any where in the county, but who questions this phrase? I suspect most posters hate bullies as much as I do and those who commit domestic violence are bullies.

Have you got any ideas what we can do in Herefordshire to highlight the problem of domestic violence?

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Great post Chris, fully agree, but lets not presume it is just women that suffer from domestic violence, men do to.

Copied and pasted from the Guardian:

 

Data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime Survey show that men made up about 40% of domestic violence victims each year between 2004-05 and 2008-09, the last year for which figures are available. In 2006-07 men made up 43.4% of all those who had suffered partner abuse in the previous year, which rose to 45.5% in 2007-08 but fell to 37.7% in 2008-09.

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I am also against domestic violence Chris, not sure what we can do to highlight this problem but I will tell you a little story. 

 

I work as a door supervisor in Hereford and have done for over 15 years (not so much these days) and I finished working one Friday night at around 2.30am and proceeded to drive home through town and over the bridge heading to Belmont where I live. I drove along the Belmont Road, more or less opposite Farm Foods and I noticed a man actually punching a woman in the face ( I assumed his wife or gf ) my instinct took over and I immediately stopped the car and ran over to stop him, he then started to attack me and I shouted what are you doing and restrained him, then all of a sudden his wife started to hit me shouting leave my F***king husband alone!

 

The moral of this story is do not get involved I guess, however, sometimes there is no easy answer and I for one could not ignore someone being attacked, you could argue that you can only help those who ask for help I suppose, but what I will say is that a lot of men are abused too! I think you have totally forgot to mention that... or assumed from the tone of your post, that domestic violence implies that the perpetrator is always the man, which is not always the case sir!

 

Domestic violence on men

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I am also against domestic violence Chris, not sure what we can do to highlight this problem but I will tell you a little story. 

 

I work as a door supervisor in Hereford and have done for over 15 years (not so much these days) and I finished working one Friday night at around 2.30am and proceeded to drive home through town and over the bridge heading to Belmont where I live. I drove along the Belmont Road, more or less opposite Farm Foods and I noticed a man actually punching a woman in the face ( I assumed his wife or gf ) my instinct took over and I immediately stopped the car and ran over to stop him, he then started to attack me and I shouted what are you doing and restrained him, then all of a sudden his wife started to hit me shouting leave my F***king husband alone!

 

The moral of this story is do not get involved I guess, however, sometimes there is no easy answer and I for one could not ignore someone being attacked, you could argue that you can only help those who ask for help I suppose, but what I will say is that a lot of men are abused too! I think you have totally forgot to mention that... or assumed from the tone of your post, that domestic violence implies that the perpetrator is always the man, which is not always the case sir!

 

Domestic violence on men

 

Colin you beat me to it! I appreciate that the majority of violence comes from men at woman but there are a lot of cases of male victims who just sit in silence as they are embarrassed to speak out!

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No I totally agree with you that men get violence from women. I have heard similar stories to Colin's before. In my role as a councillor I have witnessed the results of domestic violence, the fear of being stalked by ex, police having to call to home many times a week and children suffering. The 2 weeks in November is called '16 days against gender violence' and I am supporting it and want to do something about it, because of my experience as a councillor and my horror, still when I hear of bullies. I hate intolerance as I am sure you all do, and feel that we can not just stand by but shout our disapproval, even if it is only on Herefordshire Voice!

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Yeah! Good for you Councillor. Get yourself down to the local 'Nick'. Get them to show you how these things are recorded, how these things are investigated, what training the troops have and what they do when the victim doesn't want the matter to go to Court. Whilst the figures are troubling and it doesn't make our County look good, we and the Police could be victims of our own success. By that I mean, perhaps the Police in Hereford are recording these things better and not trying to secrete the issues. It may be there is a rise in reported incidents because other agents are doing a better job than neighbouring areas simply because the message is reaching a wider audience.

Well done Chris Chappell. I like your teeth again. My warmest regards.

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'The Wife' ... Very interesting language point raised by the Councillor ...  Do you remark 'The Wife is cooking tonight' ... or 'My Wife is cooking tonight' ... Or does he not like the word Wife? Or does he not like the two words together ? 

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 Women across Herefordshire are being treated with comptempt, physically and mentally

 

 

Ah Mr Chappell you did not disappoint. I, for one, will not be supporting this cause for the same reasons that I don't support "Race for Life".

 

I have a story too, if I may share....

 

Walking around the corner of Franklin house one Saturday night after dinner with friends, we saw a man punching a women in the face and knocking her to the ground. We didn't interfere, we didn't need to, there were 2 police cars and a riot van outside Subway watching.... and watching......... and watching. So one of my larger friends stepped in between them to stop the violence. Cue 8+ police officers rushing across the road. We were then "detained" and threatened with arrest for drunk and disorderly, despite most of us not even having had a drink.

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'The Wife' implies ownership, slavery, contempt. You can hear it said almost any where in the county, but who questions this phrase?'

 

I too am puzzled by this - I have a wife - does this make me a contemptuous slave owner in your view, or does it only apply if I say 'the wife' (which I don't, but I know people that do, it’s a colloquial phrase). No one questions it because, really, it does't need questioning does it? 

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'The wife' as in I will have to ask the wife, to most people implies that he thinks he owns her! Many times canvassing over the years ,I have had a wife tell me that she will have to ask her husband how they are going to vote! Surely this would suggest that hubby expects her to do as he tells her. After all she is 'the wife!' Let's not quibble over the use of language.

 

But the point is that there is a great deal of domestic violence, some physical, much of it mental.

 

Bobby, thank you for your kind support on this issue. I have had a lot of dealings with the police over these matters and from time to time with Women's Aid. Women's Aid in this county work very closely with the police and respect the work they do in this area.

In my ward I am assisting at the present time, three women who are the victims of violence from thier partner. Multiply those three by the other 57 councillors who will be helping someone who is a victim, and you get some idea of the problem. Perhaps if we can make more people aware, men may respect women more and women will have more strength to report domestic violence!

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Circulatedby WMP today via their Blogtrott message service.

 

Man Sentenced To Four Years For ‘Vicious’ Domestic Assaults

Stephen Wakelin A Hereford man, who went on the run from police after assaulting his ex-girlfriend and hitting his uncle over the head with an iron bar, has been sentenced to four years in prison.

Stephen Wakelin, aged 18 (DOB 31/07/1994), of Stanberrow Road, was sentenced on Friday (18 October) at Worcester Crown Court, after pleading guilty to assaulting his ex and using violence to enter her property on 25 May and also, a further charge of grievous bodily harm against his uncle on the same day.

Wakelin was publicised as a wanted person following the incident, which began when he entered his ex-partner’s home on Flaxley Drive and punched and head butted her following an argument. His ex then fled to the safety of the nearby home of Wakelin’s uncle - who was out at the time - with her young child.

However, Wakelin found her there and again assaulted her by punching her to the face.

His uncle returned home and ejected Wakelin from the house. While outside, Wakelin picked up a bar to a dumbbell, which was lying nearby, and hit his uncle over the head with it. The police were then called and although officers arrived within minutes, Wakelin had already left the scene.

Detective Sergeant Tim Powell from Hereford police station said: “Despite extensive enquiries in the days after the incident, we were unable to locate Wakelin.

“We decided – due to the risk he posed to those involved in this incident – to circulate his details as a wanted person and as a result of this, a member of the public came forward with information, which led us to where he was staying.

“We are satisfied with the sentence handed to Wakelin for this nasty and vicious assault, carried out in front of his young child, against people close to him. We hope that his victims are reassured by this sentence and feel safe in the knowledge that he will now be in prison for a number of years.â€

Wakelin was sentenced to three years in prison for the assault on his uncle, six months for the assault on his girlfriend and an additional six months for an incident which happened in March 2013 where he hit another person in the face with a baseball bat.

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'The wife' as in I will have to ask the wife, to most people implies that he thinks he owns her! Many times canvassing over the years ,I have had a wife tell me that she will have to ask her husband how they are going to vote! Surely this would suggest that hubby expects her to do as he tells her. After all she is 'the wife!' Let's not quibble over the use of language.

 

Well, language is important and worth quibbling over when you are making strong and specific statements.

 

I think you'll find that people often use the phrase 'I'll have to ask the/my wife/husband' to doorsteppers as a polite way of getting rid of them - something which you'll have come across often no doubt.

 

I don't deny domestic violence exists and applaud any initiatives to address it. I do think classifying anyone who says 'the wife' as a slave owner is, as Biomech says, political correctness gone mad and devalues the real issues.

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Twowheelsgood -and Biomech I agree with both your comment re "wife" , in December I will have been married to the present Mrs Ubique for 50 years and if it's felt that a joint decision has to be made then it is - to suggest that the present Mrs Ubique is a slave is belittling how awful slavery was and not knowing her!

 

In respect of Domestic Violence /Abuse it must be stamped out as much as possible and any initiative including this one by Cllr Chappell is very welcome. Thank you Cllr for your time and effort to support and publicise the cause.

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Yes, years of social engineering and political correctness within the UK, that germinated from a perfectly good and noble place, has resulted in many of us feeling that the mantra, 'Men are to Blame' is something they peddle out frequently to further destroy the confidence of the males of our species. From time to time, when other issues are raised, that suggest men are indeed the cause of the problem, I feel and think it as well.

That said, this is to important an issue for us to bog ourselves down in language, meanings and interpretations of words. The girls, the physically weaker sex are still being physically and mentally abused by us, the males of our species and we've all gotta get behind this proposal so that the little ones don't have to grow up witnessing this violence. It's far to important for us to bicker about.

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Guest smartieno1

The key is education so I thought I would start with this site:

http://www.dvmen.co.uk

Another often unknown fact is that women commit far more physical violence on children than men do:

 http://www.glennsacks.com/california_mothers_murders.htm

As for the answer to Domestic Violence ...it can be found in the home  :Happy_32: happy children make happy adults 

 

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From today's Birmingham Post.......

 

" POLICE recorded 23 domestic violence murders in Birmingham in the last three years – including 15 victims classed as ‘high risk’.

 

The tragic deaths were revealed as part of the wide-ranging report delivered to Birmingham Community Safety Partnership.

 

It stated there were 8,657 domestic violence-related offences in the last 12 months, with 7,230 victims.

 

The report also reveals domestic violence offences now account for ten per cent of all recorded crime in the West Midlands and 28 per cent of violence against the person offences."

 

The article, quite rightly reports that Domestic Abuse / Violence is under reported for a whole raft of reasons.

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