Jump to content

The Pain of Eurovision!


Recommended Posts

After watching an hour of this cultural dross I sat there nibbling on a packet of Pork Scratchings thankful for one single thing.

That we, Great Britain, four nations of greatness and incredible important gifts to the world are separated from mainland Europe by the salty brine of the Channel.

Thank God for the Ice Age and thank God for the science of Geology. My only regret is the Channel can be navigated within ninety minutes on a ferry from Calais.

Good bloody grief, if I ever had to sit there listening to their music and witness their cultural way of life I'd take a small fruit fork and stab myself in each ear.

As I sat there listening to some bloody offering served up by a European backwater of a Country, that told a musical story of how high the milk yield was from the local community goat, my mind wondered to the thought of death not being such a terrible thing to happen to me.

As I viewed the voting process that saw some Austrian bearded man or woman dressed up in a lovely frock win this garbage of a competition, I chanted to the Gods to deliver me from the pain and serve me up a minor heart attack so that I could lay down in bed and be excused from having to listen to the winner sing the rotten winning song again and weeping before the watching world proclaiming, 'this is the best day of my life'.

The pain and anguish could have been lessened if only they'd chosen to warble their tuneless dross to me and the World in their own Mother tongue. At the least, I wouldn't have been able to understand why the goat was so loved in this small poverty stricken hamlet and why its milk was so appreciated by the villagers who choose to suck on this beasts teat to extract the milk.

No such bloody luck. They all gave it to me in English, thus ensuring I was fully cognisant of the corny lyrics they'd attached to the surge of noise they'd shoved down my ears. As for the lyrics, moreoften than not they all held one common theme. The local wench dances around the old tree, a passing minstrel who owns a gaggle of geese and a herd of goats passes by. They fall in love. Run away and up the bloody mountain they go, never to be seen again.

We've gotta get out of this European Union. If only to escape their music and the endless agony that's heaped upon us every single year they hold this unholy celebration of ' music you'll never buy and never wish to listen to again unless you are mad'.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

Joe & Jake to represent the United Kingdom in Stockholm




London, United Kingdom

Joe and Jake have won Eurovision: You Decide tonight at the O2 Forum in London, and will represent the United Kingdom in Stockholm with the song You're Not Alone.


Mel Giedroyc presented the programme, kicking off with last year's winner of the Eurovision Song Contest, MÃ¥ns Zelmerlöw, before introducing the six songs that had made it through one of the biggest song searches the BBC has ever held to find its Eurovision entry.


Although there was an expert panel including Eurovision veterans Carrie Grant (UK 1983) and Katrina (winner for the UK in 1997) in Eurovision: You Decide the United Kingdom public made their choice with 100% televoting, and it was the duo Joe and Jake with the song You're Not Alone that received the most votes.






We have decided on our song that will come near the bottom in the 2016 contest ...   :tongue_32:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...