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632nd Mayor of Hereford v Widow Twankey

Bill Thomas

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Bill, Genius. As for this entire thing, it's lampooning a political figure. It ain't personal and, whilst I realise it can he hurtful, it's not intended. Nowadays, with the way our democracy is delivered up to us, taking the Micky, lampooning and teasing, is the only way the public can get their views heard.

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Phillip, or, as me and the lads down the pub like to call you, The Old Widow.Its not been the kindest or even the easiest of weeks has it?

Don't despair. It'll get better. In about seven to maybe ten years you'll feel less bruised and battered by the experience and you'll look back on this as one of those experiences in life you'd be happy to never recall again.

There's of course the letter that you submitted to the Hereford Times that mentioned your association with dear old Albert. Then, there was the ill fated piece in the Hereford Times which questioned your suitability to be in charge of two wheels. But of course, the real disaster came when our Bill Thomas happened upon your other secret life. Life as a Pamtomime Star. More pointedly, your role as Widow Twanky at the Birmingham Hippodrome when the Brummie Lancett commented, 'the best man we've ever seen dressed up as a girlie.' High praise indeed and though I wasn't a part of the paying audience, I'm assured that you were indeed outstanding during that particular matinee performance.

Anyway, there was a point to my posting and as usual, I've gone off at a tangent. This is what you must now do!

Please examine the picture of you playing Widow Twanky which my friend Bill recovered from your performance at the Hippodrome. You'll note that you are in role, very heavily made up and of course wearing the clothing of a Pantomime woman.

Now, with a wee spy glass, examine your image when you were photographed in your Mayoral costume. Compare the two images Phillip and if you are careful you'll see that I am able to say this.......After coming off stage you immediately went to Hereford, got into your new Mayor's costume and your image was captured by the photographer.

How do I know this and how can I be so certain that I am right? Blusher Phil! Blusher! Red make up Blusher.

You'll see that following your performance as Widow Twanky , you did not remove the Red Blusher from your facial cheeks. The Red Blusher on your facial cheeks appears on your picture as the new Mayor of Hereford.

What's my point? Get your make off after each and every performance before you leave the theatre.

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Once again, this is lampooning a political figure and its truly not intended to hurt. In fact, if anyone looks ridiculous, it's me rather than our Phillip. I am unable to think in straight lines and its this that makes me the idiot rather than Phillip.

That said, Bill's find on the Internet was an extraordinary gift to a fool who thinks like I do. Wonderful find Bill.

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