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SETTING: Early morning in the kitchen of the Speaker’s Residence, Houses of Parliament.

Rt Hon J Bercow: “Sally dearest, I do wish you would come in properly attired. A torn pair of pink knickers bearing an unsmiling emoji across the crotch is hardly appropriate for the Speaker’s spouse. Anyway, what time did you get it?”

Mrs Bercow: “Just after 4.00 a.m. Is there any Merlot left?”

Bercow: “I think I’d switch to Nescafé if I was you. Can you please pass me that tool kit under the sink?” (The chimes of Big Ben striking 9 o’clock ring out, causing the whole kitchen to shudder. With difficulty, the Speaker’s wife delivers the heavy tool box.) Mr Bercow lifts its twin lids, mumbling to himself: “It HAS to be Imperial. Metric would never do!”

Mrs Bercow: (pouring herself the last of the Merlot): “What on earth are you on about, John?”

Bercow: (Furiously rummaging through the contents of the tool box): “I’m looking for the 16” adjustable with the chromed handle. I need it for tomorrow morning. Before the Prime Minister’s final Brexit statement.”

Mrs Bercow: “What are you planning to fix? My bathroom shower?”

Bercow: “I’m not planning to fix anything, my dear.” (Triumphantly waving aloft a large mole wrench.) “THIS is to be my final Spanner in the Works!”

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If you had a 100 people in a room only 37 of them voted for Brexit. I wonder why this is all a mess caused by Eton boy Cameron trying to placate his split party and trying to stop UKIP getting any MPs.

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The sooner we can get out of this corrupt European Union the better. They have really shown their hand with their bully boy tactics.

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On 25 March 2019 at 13:47, Aylestone Voice said:

Yes - Cameron is largely to blame

 

Plus his bed mate ....Osboune

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