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Hereford Ferret Racing ~ 17th May 2014


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Ferret Racing at Withington Village Hall Saturday 17th May -7.30 £12.50 inc food, licensed bar Tickets from Kevin Hewison 01432 850074 kevinhewison@btopenworld.com In Aid of "End Polio Now" and Rotary Foundation.

 

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No I've never been a man to race ferrets. Never have been and never will be. Mind, I've no criticism of anyone who chooses to enter their ferret into a race. Nothing wrong in that at all. You'd be an odd sort if you did object to an organised race between one ferret and another. It's just not my chosen path. No, I like to watch the ferrets. Particularly when they decide, as they do very frequently, to engage in physical intercourse. Yes, it's fair to say Im a man who likes to watch ferrets making love. They are interesting little creatures. My male ferret is called Jarvis and my girlie ferret is called Morgan.

Often I'll pick Jarvis up stroke him and whisper, 'ain't she looking cute today little chap', I'll shove a piece of pork rind in his mouth and sit back and watch the action. Course, Jarvis being as Jarvis is, is no sensitive lover. He's a little on the aggressive side if my views on ferret mating is worth a jot of notice. Little Morgan, cognisant that her mate is nibbling on the aphrodisiac pork rind, will begin to charge round the cage trying to seek refuge from the rampant Jarvis.

Of course Jarvis being what Jarvis is, ain't as fast as Morgan so to aid the act of physical love and to stop little Jarvis from choking and dropping down dead from a heart attack, I'll pick up Morgan, tether her to their excercise wheel and allow this glorious snapshot of Mother Nature to take place naturally before my watchful eyes.

No! Im not a racer of ferrets. Never have been and never will be!

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