SON OF GRIDKNOCKER

If we all believed the developers' images, quaintly termed 'artist's impression', we would be basking in permanent Mediterranean sunshine, sipping coctails under Martini umbrellas, the occasional Mercedes convertible purring by down empty boulevards and Anita Ekberg waving from the back seat.

Unlike Cllrs Hubbard and Powell, I'm not convinced this is a 'done deal'. A can of worms, yes; but you can always put cans of worms into the refuse (until this service is suspended). A well-informed source close to the Plough Lane worker bees tells me that the Bath Street / St Owen Street 'land swap' has been actively discussed by HC and H&WFA since last September. To this end, the fire authority's consultant designers have developed a scheme which is as near as damn-it ready to go in for detailed planning permission. So think on that peeps. While we write earnest letters to the Chairman of Hereford Civic Society, and go and get books out of the City Library to mug up on who this John Venn person was, draughtsemen are beavering away to design H&WFA's new Bath Street Fire Station! Mr Tony Johnson has probably even pencilled in the opening ceremony in his diary. It behoves us all, fellow Voice posters, to e-mail the Cabinet about our misgivings over the way this business has been handled (or should that be 'man-hsandled'?).

Well spotted (and snapped) Colin! I'd been clocking this eyesore ever since the steel frames were erected. Then the builders came along and fixing the vertical timber bars (I assumed they were using tanalised timber). Then post the rainy season they got up on cherry pickers and gave them another coating. Yet after last week's rains they were already looking sad and bedraggled. As Mr Littlejohn would say: "You couldn't make it up, could you?"

Amem to that Dippy! Hasn't the mantra of Messrs (I'm sorry but I'm done with giving them the honorific 'Councillor' any longer) Phillips, Jarvis and Johnson been 'transparency, transparency, transpareny'? And when they're not chanting that one, its 'consultation. consultation. consultation.'

@ Aylestone Voice: Regarding your analysis of next Wednesday's Cabinet meeting (at which the fate of the former Working Boys Home on Bath Street may or may not be discussed), tell us in all honesty whether you think e-mailed messages to said Cabinet members, emploring a stay of execution, would have any effect whatsoever?

As m'learned friend Two Wheels will probably confirm, the five metal pointy bits are supposed to be a humourous architectural allusion to the 'saw-tooth' roofs which surmounted the auction sheds in the old cattle market. They are also known as North Lights 'cause they pointed north, thus letting in the very minimum amount of sunlight. Unfortunately, the architectural numpty who ordained the construction of the new pointy roofs obviously didn't have his compass with him, 'cause they don't face north. Drrrrr!

Agree 100% with Twowheels' observation about the godawful view of the Stanhope development from Edgar Street, looking eastwards. It is simply horrendous. I feel desperately sorry for all those Edgar Street residents (especially after the going-over they were given by the jack-booted Highways Agency), destined to look at something as architecturally-stimulating as the side of a huge container vessel. Hold on, do I hear the conciliatory footsteps of Aylestone Voice approaching?

You know what it's like. You haven't woken up properly when you check your overnight incoming e-mails, deleting those viagra offers and 'learn the art of waterboarding your noisy neighbours' free trials? The othe morning, there was the bearded one, grinning out at me at 6.15am, telling me there was a spare seat beside him in the first Virgin Rocket's trip to the moon. "There's still time to enter this unique competition, Grid Knocker," he said. Directly at me, peeps! Just imagine having Richard Branson as your co-pilot all the way to the moon? The mind doesn't just boggle, it positively coagulates. But there was a catch. Isn't there always a catch? There in the small print at the bottom, in yellow text set against a pulsating yellow background it said: "I have read Virgin Rocket's terms & conditions and agree to receive details of promotional offers from Virgin Mobile, Virgin Trains, Virgin Records, Virgin Airlines, Virgin Holidays, Virgin Money, Virgin Caribbean Care Homes, Virgin Perfumed Trainer Liners, Virgn Skateboard Accident After-Care and Virgin Drain Unblocking. Of course I didn't click the box, but now I'm scared to open the front door or even walk into town for fear he'll be lying in wait for me. With his red clip board and that cheesey toothsome grin. The postman's just brought our post: d'you suppose he might come disguised as a postie? Or the man who reads the gas meters?

The Germans have a lovely word for it: Schadenfreude. And the Chinese, bless 'em, even have an appropriate saying (mind you, they've got a saying for just about everything under the sun) which goes: "There is nothing more enjoyable that seeing your neighbour fall off his roof." Transpose 'neighbour' for King Bobby's old sparring partner John Jarvis, and make 'roof' that absurd metal pointy job atop the OM's Bastille-like edifice, and yes I could easily have a good chuckle. Why? Well because it was the self-same Jarvis who called a special Press Conference to announce that demolition work on the old cattle market was to be postponed until after the Queen's Jubilee visit to Hereford, so that she wouldn't be offended by the sight of huge piles of concrete rubble. None of Jarvis's flunkies (observing the Brockington dictum known as 'emperor's clothes') had the nerve to point out to him that the royal motorcade wasn't going anywhere near the Tesco roundabout. It will be fascinating to see what far-fetched excuse Cllr Johnson's media minders come up with next week. The smog, perhaps?

Good letter (with big colour picture) in today's Hereford Times from John Bothamley, Chairman of Hereford Civic Society. Not only does he query Cllr Bramer's sudden change of tack in now suggesting that the present St Owen Street fire station should be demolished for housing (councill thinking previously being a car park), but he takes him to task in no uncertain terms about quoting this mythical 'of no architectural merit' phrase, as if this was the sum total of English Heritage's detailed analysis of the buildings. I'm no fan of EH (in fact I stand alongsiode the great Jonathan Meades in believing the whole organisation is a costly super-quango - but that's another story), but quoting criticisms out of context and inside quote marks, to give them an air of verisimilitude, is not only naughty, but probably bordering on the dodgy.

Excellent resume Megi. Today I intend to delve into the topic of the long-promised Hereford Transport Hub, first mooted back in 2008 by Jonathan Bretherton's aide-de-camp Charles Pickles at an ESG Ltd presentation at the Ten Pin Bowl. Six years in the planning, so it should be a pretty impressive package by now, possibly on a par with the £150M Parkway currently under construction at Bromsgrove in Worcestershire. I'll keep you posted, peeps!

Well done, Cambo. Many of us, I'm sure, are puzzled as to why the council is hell-bent on off-loading the poor old boys home, rather than seeking out a more realistic location for this state-of-the-art fire station which the H&WFA needs. It is also very curious that the land behind the Odeon (owned by the council) was never offered to H&WFA as a possible site. Why not? When this question was put to Mr Featherstone, Director of Corporate Assets, he implied that there were long-term plans to declare the present Country Bus Station 'surplus to use', but that this plan did not fit in the fire authority's time scale. In plain English I take this to mean "we're eventually going to reduce the size of the bus station (fewer stands etc), and we might even re-locate it somewhere else - like Hereford Station forecourt. But don't RUSH us! We like to go at our own bureaucratic pace: snail-like / stationery, with lots and lots of meetings. Exactly the same bureaucratic torpidity can be witnessed at the Skylon Business Park, which has been a designated Enterprise Zone for nearly three years, yet has precious little to show for it.

Thanks AV. Thursday 10 April @ 2.00pm. Brockington Towers. Please turn up if you can peeps and witness Herefordshire's unique brand of Democracy-Lite in action!

Nil desperandum fellow posters....or as the eternally-optimistic Cambo has already pointed out 'It ain't over until the fat lady signs.' So the next date to mark in your diaries is Monday 14th April, when at Brockington Towers, the council's Cabinet will meet to debate last week's decision by the H&W fire authority to go ahead with the 'land swap' deal, which would eventually see them building a new fire station on the Bath Street site of the former Working Boys Home. I would suggest that it behoves all of you out there - especially if your own ward councillor happens to have a seat at the Cabinet table - to e-mail your objection to this daft idea, particularly as evidence has recently emerged that not only is there a more appropriate site for the new fire station (and more central and with improved access to the city's road network), but that this particular location has never been offered to H&WFA by Herefordshire Council, despite the fact that a) it owns the land and b) it is currently woefully under-used!

I believe it's called 'shared space', peeps. Originates from Holland. At one time it was to have been inflicted along the entire length of Broad Street. Still, at least it finds employment for kerb layers.

I should like to second King Bobby's motion - or 'third' it, if Ubique got there first. Today (Saturday) sees the official re-opening on Castle Green of The Pavilion (formerly the old council-owned 'canoe centre'). And though its rescue has been achieved through the efforts of a large and dedicated bunch of local people, I don't think any of them would disagree if I said that Cllr Hubbard has been the driving force in saving this handsome Regency building (once a public bath house, I believe) on the banks of the Wye. Well done Mark!

How refreshing that Worcestershire CC is able to attract environmentally-enlightened folk to the ranks of its councillors. Debating the possible sale of the city's fine old fire station, Cllr Gretton is reported in the WEN as saying: "I just hope we don't sacrifice a better capital receipt because we need the money." Wouldn't it be nice to hear Herefordshire councillors (of whatever political stripe) echoing similar concerns about the needless destruction of the former Working Boys Home in Bath Street? Instead, like a cracked 78rpm record, all they want to remind us of is the blinkered view of that bloated quango English Heritage, that the Bath Street buildings are of 'no architectural merit' - the latest to recycle this crass observation being Cllr Bramer, in a letter in this week's Hereford Times.

@ Cambo: congrats on setting up a Brockington meet with Cllr Bramer next Wednesday. The very best of luck (but don't say 'bleedin' - that's a swear word you know!).

@ Colin and John H: not exactly the perfect solution ("...so who are these guys accountable to?), I admit, but the Last Chance Saloon goes under the name of the Scrutiny & Overview Committee. One upon a time, it was a toothless watchdog, chared (I believe) either by Cllr Edwards or James. Then in one of John Jarvis's re-arrangements of the deckchairs on the SS Brockington (currently taking in water up on Hafod Road), Cllr Alan 'Mr Sensible' Seldon was appointed Chairman, with Cllr Liz Harvey as his deputy. They are a formidable duo I can tell you (using a technique against witnesses rather like the CID's old game of 'Mr Nice and Ms Nasty'). On one famous occasion, when the duo were checking Hereford Futures' accounts with a fine tooth comb, they very nearly reduced Brother Bretherton to tears! If the Cabinet does approve this crackpot deal, I suspect (though Mark can post otherwise if I'm miss-reading the runes?} the Overview & Scrutiny Committee will want to see and hear all the evidence.

To nobody's great surprise, Item 14 of yesterday's H&WFA's Resources Committee meeting (to press ahead with the 'land swap') was approved. As Mandy Rice Davies might have observed had she been in Worcester last night: "Well they would say that, wouldn't they?" The 14 April meeting of Herefordshire Council's Cabinet will be a rubber-stamping formality. So can we all go home? Errr...not yet, peeps. A few questions need answering first. Like:- If the H&WFA has been actively seeking a suitable site for its new fire station for a decade, how come all they were offered (apart from the boys home) by Geof Hughes' huge property empire, was a site on the Three Elms Business Park, a pocket-handkerchief plot off the Link Road and a building site out at Rotherwas? Even someone with Roger Phillips' IQ knows Rotherwas is hardly 'central city'. Informed sources say the firemen were never asked whether they would be interested in the huge site at the rear of the Odeon on Commercial Road, which is perfectly placed for access to the proposed Link Road. How on earth did the council (which has a property division - it even employs someone called Director of Corporate Asset Management ffs!) ever allow the Bath Street offices to get into such a state of disrepair? Why, when it could see the Bath Street buildings would be surplus to its requirements, didn't it go out and canvass expressions of interest from the sort of developers who would have taken on these Victorian buildings (asbestos and all) to convert them into flats or apartments, as happened with the old General Hospital? Why, when even its own tourism guru Sir Ben Gill has told them that more bed spaces are urgently needed in the city centre, did the council never advertise the boys home as potentially-convertible into a 30-bedroom hotel? And did the supine Hereford Civic Society ever appeal English Heritage's arrogant ruling that the former Working Boys Home was of insufficient architectural merit to be listed - or enlist the help of local MP Jesse Norman? Since the notorious 'land swap' is a decision affecting the disposal of a council asset, let's hope the Scrutiny & Overview Committee will call this decision in and that some of the above questions will be answered. It will be stuffed with Tory yes-men (it always is), but that doughty double-act of Alan Seldon and Liz Harvey should have some of the witnesses squirming.

Welcome smartieno 1. And what an absolutely cracking suggestion for starters: a live music venue on St Owen Street (I hardly imagine Cllr Kenyon's going to gripe about that!). This city deperately needs the sort of venue that good established and up-and-coming groups would love to play in, instead of that giant biscuit tin sitting up there on Holmer Road (aka Hereford Leisure Centre). I'll nominate you as the new live music centre's first manager!

Fight the Good Fight, King Bobby: this one is worth winning!

Great story about the Chief Fire Officer's private op eh? ("He was struggling at his desk"). I have high hopes that the WEN will bring us the first report of Wednesday's H&WFA's Resouces Committee meeting. I heartily endorse Dippy's call to the e-mailing keyboard - but keep 'em calm and reasoned (not 'over my dead body' hysterical!).

Well researched Megi. I certainly couldn't find Cllr Morgan's letter on the HT site this morning. I'm not saying it isn't there, but its website is a bit like Hampton Court maze! The one glaring question which jumps off the page at you and needs answering is:- Councillor - if, as you claim, 'Herefordshire Council has a duty to manage the asset portfolio so that it uses county taxpayers' money to best advantage' why in Heaven's name have you never invited offers, or sealed tender bids - or considered putting it in one of your secret London auction sales - of the Bath Street offices? Instead, since last December you've been locked in secret conclave with the H&W fire authority (deliberately excluding the Ward Councillor), stitching up this naff land swap? Is that protecting taxpayers' money? Not from where I'm sitting!

I'll take a look. And I've started drawing up the list of questions.