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Jean Claude bloody Juncker.


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He's blocked me on Twitter. The President of the European Commision has bloody blocked me from insulting him ever again.

Its a disgrace! That's what it is and worse, it's a bloody personal attack on my inalienable right to tell him what I think of him and his ungodly force for bad, the bloody European Union.

Who does he think he is? Doesn't he know who I am? I'll be damned if I take this lying down. I'll be damned if I take it standing up. In fact, I'll be damned if I take it at all in any position I choose to position myself in. He's bitten off more than he can chew because I ain't having it. 

I know what I'll have, what I won't have and what I'll be made to have if I'm beaten senseless and told, 'have this', and I'll be damned if I have it. It's not as if I deserve his bloody Twitter response that reads, 'you are blocked'. After repeatedly telling him that I despised the European Union, him, Verhofstadt and bloody Tusk and getting no response from him, I bloody found an Internet Search Engine that translated me bloody insults into French and I pressed the 'Send' button.

Course, after translating me insults back into English I found that bloody French is a complicated language that's full of bloody unhelpful masculine and feminine words that can quite easily make my heartfelt insults worse in translation. Besides telling him, ' I hope your Marigolds wilt in the broad Strasburg mid day sun, I accused him of being drunk, hating British people and their domestic pets and having a close allegiance to the Germans who bombed my local chip shop.

In only 140 characters, I've managed to get myself blocked by Juncker, probably got myself into someone's intray at GCHQ and it's all because of the bloody French and their bloody unreliable language. It's to complicated. French should be banned. It's a menace to the Free World.

Well I ain't for stopping. Never! I've got that wild eyed gap toothed crazed federalist Verhofstadt in my sights and this time I'm not using that bloody French Translation Tool to send him me EU insults. I'm sticking with English. English is a good and fair language that doesn't distort your words and their intended meanings.

And I won't stop! Juncker can get the remaining 27 Member States together and get them all to agree that I should be banned from entering their air space, travelling by land or sea to Calaise and starved from eating any French Brie, Wine, Ale or smoking their tobacco that I purchase twice yearly from Adinkerke, it won't stop me. Never!

This blocking that I've been given is going to create an escalation between me and this dreadful Union that's intent upon destroying my Country. It's inevitable. By the time I'm finished I fully expect NATO forces to get dragged into this dispute and begin a bombing campaign on my three bedroom Semi Detached that's now located South of the Wye. This is what happens nowadays. You get bombed! To stop it, end this conflict and compel me to moderate my insults  they'll have to get Jean Claude Juncker to unblock me on Twitter.

i must be the only person in bloody Europe that's been blocked by Juncker and I say it's wrong, unfair and bloody niggling to someone like me who likes to excercise their inalienable rights and question why the EU would ever wish to destroy a nation of people who freed them all from German occupation.

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Anyone else here heard the term ‘Reverse Ferret’? Very complicated and said to have been coined by the legendary Sun Editor Kelvin McKenzie. Why ferrets? Insufficient space to go into that, but it is an obscure reference to the bizarre habit some northerners are said to enjoy from stuffing live ferrets down their trousers while intoxicated in local ale houses. So a reverse ferret, according to McKenzie, is to do the complete opposite. Are you following? Do try to keep up please!

Two weeks ago, after dim-witted David Davis quit as Her Majesty’s Lord High Convenor for Getting Us out of Europe as Painlessly as Possible, Mrs May appointed someone called Dominic Raab to the post (no, I’d never heard of him either) and promptly dispatched him to Brussels to have a face-to-face meet with that smug, self-satisfied Monsieur Barnier, knowing that the bottom line in all these protracted negotiations is what is laughingly termed ‘the Divorce Bill’: a £39-billion tab which that old soak Juncker has described as “the price you must pay for leaving the EU Club.”

So, employing McKenzie’s Law, why doesn’t Haab simply do a Reverse Ferret, telling old Barnier: “Sorry chum, but we ain’t paying the bill. See you in court!”

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