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You'all know the Lord is always by your side.


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You know, you've always got the Lord by your side. That's what preacher Thornbury says on the God Channel. This evangelical preacher from Oregon is right and I for one believe him.

You see, God is always by your side. He's there when you sleep, he's there when you wake and he's certainly with you every single moment of the day you live your life.

In fact, every single decision you make has God behind it compelling you to carry out his will. You've simply got no choice in the matter. If God decides on something then that's it. There's no getting out of it.

In fact, given that this unimaginably clever omnipresence is pulling your bloody strings every rotten step of the way, I've come to the conclusion that even bothering to think for yourself is an excercise in futility. Why bloody bother I say. Save your bloody energy and let God guide you where he wants you to go and be.

See, nowadays, now I've grasped this reality, when I get out of bed and stub me bloody toe, in days gone by I would have shouted, 'bloody hell! Good Lord. The dreadful pain. Me Barstard toe!' Now, when I get out of bed and stub me toe and become overwhelmed by the searing pain that one gets when one does stub their toe, I hop about howling, 'Oh Lord you did it to me and you did it to me for a reason. Thank you'.

Yes, God's ability to be with you, me and every single human being every single moment of the day is something that is beyond our imagination. I mean, whilst gifting me my stubbed toe, he's also got his eye on other goings on. Yes he has! Some young lad in the bush in say Kenya can suddenly become highly aroused, disappear behind a thicket of bracken and begin masturbating. What's God do if he's displeased with this lad pleasuring himself in the bush? Yes! He wills a pride of Lions to chase him away. This is what God does. He goes about his business in a highly unusual and roundabout way that always results in us doing exactly what God intended us to do. He doesn't deliver a mighty voice to the lad saying, 'you dirty little stinker. Stop it'. No! He gets the Lions involved doesn't he.

Take 'The Syphilis' for example. We've got it in Hereford. We didn't want it. I doubt very much that some fool prayed, 'Dear Lord, please give us The Syphilis'. You'd be an odd sort if you did ask for that but God, in his wisdom, decided to give us the dreadful organism for a purpose.

Because Jehovah or whatever you want to call him delivers us these things for a reason, it wouldn't surprise me if God concluded, 'goodness the Earth has an awful lot of unused latex rubber sap in my jungles of South East Asia. I'll make them use more rubber to get the stocks down and I've decided that it's Hereford who'll get The Syphilis.' And so, the lads, terrified of getting this dreadful organism up their pipes, begin to wear several condoms at the same time in case two or three split and low and behold, the rubber stocks go down because of the vast numbers of condoms being used.

And so, from hereon, if you go hurtling up the street to catch the bloody bus to collect your food parcel because you've lost your job and you are fiscally knackered and the bloody rotten bus driver closes the door making it impossible for you to ride the vehicle, just think, 'God wanted me to miss this bus and if that's what he bloody wanted then that's good enough for me thank you very much'!

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Believe that from when I left home at 15 I have always worked on the principal that " what will be will be " have no regrets about the decisions I have made - and never think of hindsight . ( Well , most of the time ) .


Not a great believer in religion - has been the guilty party in numerous wars .

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