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Police Need To Find Owner Of This Bike

Colin James

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So, they want me to tell them who owns the bike do they! Well, I'd like them to tell me who, a few years ago, tippy toed into my home, burgled me and stole me bloody belongings. Course, they won't tell me because they don't know and despite the regular sound bite that's shovelled out proclaiming, 'if you commit crime around these parts we will catch you and we will punish you', thus bloody far, nobody can tell me who burgled me bloody house.

So, given that they don't know who burgled me house, why would you think that they think that I, you or we might be able to tell them who owns the bloody bike. Frankly, given the mood I'm in, I'm not so sure I'd tell them if I knew who owned the bike. What with me being up to my ankles in Crack, Smack, Legal Highs and economic bloody Lows and a constant worry that some rosy cheeked, moustacheod Constable heavily laden with equipment to stun me, gas me and make me squeal is keen to catch me driving at thirty three miles an hour in Commercial Road so that I either have to accept three penalty points or be gifted the golden opportunity to pay and attend a course run by a couple of retired Constables who'll drop eggs on the floor screaming, 'this is the result of you doing three miles above the limit. You've killed the wee child you callous evil bastard,' I'm not entirely convinced that I want to phone the Police, navigate their Rubik Cube of a Call Centre and spend two hours of my life desperately searching for someone who'll ask me, 'who owns the bloody bike'.

What'smore, what is it that's so important about this bike. What's the bike done or, as is more likely, what's the rider of the bike done that's compelled them to show me, you and us this picture of the bike in question. Call me Mister bloody Awkward but, given that I've got a sweet tooth, I want some sugar. I want to know a little more about why they want to find and trace the owner of this bike. If, for example, the rider, mounted upon this bike pulled up outside Plough Lane, threw a house brick through the window howling, 'stop making the weak and the vulnerable pay and help people with disability', I ain't so sure I'm prepared to roll over, become a Coppers Grass and help find the owner of this bloody black bike who, as far as I'm aware, unless he was the one that burgled me and me bloody home, has never done anything to hurt me.

No! I'm not cooperating other than to say, that this bike is not my property and anyone who says they've seen me on it peddling away from the scene of some crime is a liar and an embellisher!

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Well , this cycle has been looking for an owner at least 24 hours from when Colin posted it - appears still without an owner . Would have been more interesting if the PCSO had drip fed a bit of intriguing information which would then encourage us to seek the answer. ( only repeating the shorter version of Bobbys post )


Very surprised , or am I , that this has not yet made the Hereford Times , perhaps it will be their front page headlines on Thursday .

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Further to my last, the latest tweet from the @southsidecops regarding this bike is "Thank you for all the retweets... The bike has been reunited with a very grateful owner #teamwork".  Looks like you won't have to compromise your integrity, Bobby, by helping return some stolen property to the rightful owner.  Phew...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Course, bloody now, after they've read me bloody post that made it absolutely clear that I had no intention of ever assisting them in their investigation, I'm guessing that they've got me pegged as a possible suspect.

Well I didn't steal the bike and anyone who even contemplates the notion that I did is no friend of mine. What's the World coming to when you can't transmit an innocent post without getting labelled a possible bike thief. Bloody Police State!

It's getting worse by the day. All I ever said was I was not prepared to tell them who owned the bike, not that I bloody knew, and now all of this. My good name being dragged through the mud as a team of Officers sit there, trawling through this, that and the other trying to pin this on me.

Well I ain't having. I'll be damned if I do. If you can't sit here watching the Whitecross Housewives gyrating and dancing seductively on my webcam without worrying that the Police are coming to cart you off for something you definitely didn't do, it's a poor bloody show.

Well I'm not having it. I know what I'll have and what I won't have and I'm definitely not, under any circumstances having this. Why should I? I've done absolutely nothing wrong and I don't see why I should have to sit here hiding up in my attic because some bright eyed, promotion chasing bloody sleuth has decided that I'm a suspect. I mean, this is getting out of hand. If they pin one bike on me, they'll try clearing their books and bloody gift me hundreds of charges that wrongly imply I've purloined a hundred bikes.

A hundred bikes! Rubbish! I've not stolen one bike let alone a hundred bikes and if they pop round here and search my hovel of a home they'll not find a single bell, peddle or mudguard that might support the idea that I like stealing bloody bikes.

Haven't they got better things to do than victimise a man who regularly minds his own business, diligently recycles his rubbish and pays his way in a round down the Commercial!

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Right , we know that this bike was not Bobbys , that's a relief ! He also has had a dig at Dippy and her group , The Whitecross Housewives so where is it going to end .


What surprised me is the fact that the Police Community Support Officer had to seek the publics assistance to trace the owner of the bike on HV and not the HT.


That suggests to me one or two happenings.......


1 . The bike was never reported lost or stolen by the owner - hence the appeal




2 . The bike had been reported stolen , description obtained etc BUT when it came into Police possession a proper search of the West Mercia IT system was not carried out properly

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