bobby47 Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 Me and the lads have seen this bloke before down the Commercial. We were doing our usual Easter Crucifixtion scene in the back yard of the battle cruiser. As is normally the case, I was playing the Son of Man and the lads, who'd kindly but reluctantly agreed not to scourge me and beat me senseless before I was mounted upon the cross, 'had tethered me to the horizontal bar, they'd affixed this bar and me to the vertical bar when all of a sudden, just as the lads were hoisting me upwards, some twenty foot in elevation so that I was hung up there looking out over Morrisons Car Park, this same bloody fella hurtles in with a small flock of sheep. I said, 'who the bloody hell are you'. He said, ' I'm the good shepherd'. Course, even though I was strung up, blasted out of me brains and barely able to string a coherent sentence together I told him, 'You can p.iss off and take you bloody Suffolk rotten bloody Ewes with you. This pal, is the Crucifixtion of Jesus. Not the bloody birth of the sweet loving child'. Course, then he starts wailing at the foot of the cross doesn't he. I said, 'look here pal. Read the Gospels of the New Testament and any other historical document that record the events upon Golgotha. There were no fu.ck.ing sheep present and no hairy moustached Shepherd was reported as being there at the time of our sweet Lords passing. Now clear off and take your bloody sheep with you'. Wouldn't go would he. Started gibbering on, 'I love my sheep. I'd do anything for my sheep. They're the most beautiful beasts that graze upon Dinedor Hill and I'll kill anything that ever does them harm.' Course, the lads, all dressed up as Roman soldiers and wailing mourners, shouted up, 'what do we do with him Bobby?. Out of pure frustration I bellowed down, 'let's just get fu.ck.ing on with it shall we. Keep the sheep away from the ale, stop him cuddling the beasts in such an intimate way and I'll soon cry out, 'God, why hast thou foresaken me. Then I'll lift me head up, howl, 'it is done', you all sing There Was A Green Hill Far Away and then with a bit of luck this pest of a Shepherd will clear off with his Ewes'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin James Posted May 1, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 Me and the lads have seen this bloke before down the Commercial. We were doing our usual Easter Crucifixtion scene in the back yard of the battle cruiser. As is normally the case, I was playing the Son of Man and the lads, who'd kindly but reluctantly agreed not to scourge me and beat me senseless before I was mounted upon the cross, 'had tethered me to the horizontal bar, they'd affixed this bar and me to the vertical bar when all of a sudden, just as the lads were hoisting me upwards, some twenty foot in elevation so that I was hung up there looking out over Morrisons Car Park, this same bloody fella hurtles in with a small flock of sheep. I said, 'who the bloody hell are you'. He said, ' I'm the good shepherd'. Course, even though I was strung up, blasted out of me brains and barely able to string a coherent sentence together I told him, 'You can p.iss off and take you bloody Suffolk rotten bloody Ewes with you. This pal, is the Crucifixtion of Jesus. Not the bloody birth of the sweet loving child'. Course, then he starts wailing at the foot of the cross doesn't he. I said, 'look here pal. Read the Gospels of the New Testament and any other historical document that record the events upon Golgotha. There were no fu.ck.ing sheep present and no hairy moustached Shepherd was reported as being there at the time of our sweet Lords passing. Now clear off and take your bloody sheep with you'. Wouldn't go would he. Started gibbering on, 'I love my sheep. I'd do anything for my sheep. They're the most beautiful beasts that graze upon Dinedor Hill and I'll kill anything that ever does them harm.' Course, the lads, all dressed up as Roman soldiers and wailing mourners, shouted up, 'what do we do with him Bobby?. Out of pure frustration I bellowed down, 'let's just get fu.ck.ing on with it shall we. Keep the sheep away from the ale, stop him cuddling the beasts in such an intimate way and I'll soon cry out, 'God, why hast thou foresaken me. Then I'll lift me head up, howl, 'it is done', you all sing There Was A Green Hill Far Away and then with a bit of luck this pest of a Shepherd will clear off with his Ewes'. Pmsl bobby you are comical, made me laugh for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dippyhippy Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 Fabulous Bobby! And I'm amazed there has been no specific mention of eyebrows....?? You yourself have always said that you can never trust a man whose eyebrow hair cannot agree on which way to grow. I have held dear to that notion ever since..... in fact I now live by life by that simple rule. Dubious eyebrows equals dubious character. So far, this rule has stood me in good stead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikefitz Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 As the good shepherd is in my ward I would be interested in knowing if there is any truth in this story. I cannot find it in the Hfd Times onlineor the IOC FB. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobby47 Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 Hello Mike. Is it true? God only knows and frankly, given my disposition to embellishing the facts, telling downright lies and fabricating complete nonsense, I couldn't care less! I've had a good look at his photograph and frankly he scares the life out of me and given that bloody look he's got, that menacing glare that implies, 'I'm the second gunman off the grassy knoll', I say he's a man who's overly protective to sheep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dippyhippy Posted May 1, 2015 Report Share Posted May 1, 2015 You're cooking on gas tonight, Bobby! Hilarious! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin James Posted May 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 As the good shepherd is in my ward I would be interested in knowing if there is any truth in this story. I cannot find it in the Hfd Times onlineor the IOC FB. Thanks Here is the HT Article Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikefitz Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 Cheers Colin- separating the dog sounds like cruelty itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Martin Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 Comments appear to be disabled for this article :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubique Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 Comments appear to be disabled for this article :-) Amanda - See post 18 and 19 ( pay attention please lol ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Martin Posted May 2, 2015 Report Share Posted May 2, 2015 Lol sorry, Ubique - must be my short term memory problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.Wilson Posted April 27, 2019 Report Share Posted April 27, 2019 On 30/04/2015 at 16:04, dazza333 said: The guy Greenow has allegedly already admitted to shooting 16 dogs, he sounds like a medieval menace. Sounds more like a boast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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