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City of Culture? Don't make me laugh


SON OF GRIDKNOCKER

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Admittedly Hereford has been heavily 'marked down' by the bookies as an unlikely winner of the City of Culture 2021, the short list for which is due to be announced this month. Coventry is currently enjoying the shortest odds of the 11 competing conurbations. And is it any wonder they're favorites? They've pumped £250,000 into their bid submission. Hereford's paltry investment? 22K. Less than Council Leader Tony Johnson's take-home pay. And although the official government prize is only £3-million, current Culture City Hull estimates that incoming revenue from tourism will top 20 times that amount by the end of the year.

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So what has Hereford got to offer on a par with Hull? Not a lot. A designated Cabinet member responsible for culture? There isn't one. A museum? Not a proper one (just a room above the library, with some Roman coins in a glass case). A modern art gallery? Nope. Can one view the complete works of renowned local artist Brian Hatton? They're presently stored in the Museum Resource Centre (only open for 5 hours on Wednesdays). The purpose-designed gallery in Churchill Gardens (paid for by Hatton's sister Marjorie) was closed some years ago. Civic street art? There's the bull in High town and top-hatted Sir George Cornewall Lewis outside the Shire Hall. And that lump of galvanised scrap steel which somebody dumped in front of All Saints Church. Well how about great cultural treasures? The Mappa Mundi (one of the oldest surviving maps of the world, which the cathedral authorities tried to sell off at auction). Best place to view your beautiful River Wye? Either the ASDA car park or the gardens of the Bishops Palace (public access: two hours a week). Historic building interiors? The 15th century hammer beam roof of the Booth Hall would be worth a look, but it's been shrouded in scaffolding for the last six years, due to a fire. What about your spectacular 17th century black-and-white Town Hall in the centre of High Town? Sorry, that was demolished in 1862, on the orders of the Mayor. So, any great engineering achievements to shout about? Well ,the 800m-long Link Road to Nowhere is due to be opened shortly, destined to go into the Guinness Book of Records as Britain's most costly urban motorway. Oh dear. Well has Hereford got any outstanding modern architecture I could look at - say on a par with Coventry Cathedral? Try the Old Market Shopping Centre's timber-slatted multi-storey car park. Awesome init?

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Modern architecture - could that be the very expensive all singing and dancing new Records Office.  

 

As for modern art works perhaps the bigger plan is to make features out of the potholes littering our roads - sort of paint them blue paint a bit of sand around the edges and somehow fix some ducks floating on the blue - you've got the idea.  Ridiculous even attempting to bid for it could have spent the £22k on a lot more worthy causes. 

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It's hard to see how those behind the bid thought it'd be worthwhile, other than to believe that anyone bidding gets a lump of public funded cash that they can squander and munch their way through during the period of bidding and presenting the bid, then get their picture in the local rag, become a figure of local celebrity and perhaps receive an honour for loyalty and blind fu.cking stupidity to the cause of promoting a beautiful land blighted by holes in the fu.cking roads and the second lowest wage levels and disposable income in the English speaking world.

Course, if you factor in all the wonders of our lovely County that hitherto have been untouched by this bastard Council, namely the countryside, our rivers, the mountains and some wonderful buildings built before this bastard Council emerged from their mothers loins, you could argue that we've a lot to offer, but other than that, it's so very hard to see how the bid could succeed and how we'd ever be able to deliver an experience that'd encourage anyone to tip up here and start spending their cash.

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Let's be a bit more positive about Hereford here, shall we?

Let's run Hull down also...  What have they got to make a noise about?  

The Housemartins (It is still the mid 1980's isn't it?)    Well, we've got Mott The Hoople (Ah...) and The Pretenders.  So, it's safe to say that we win the popular beat combo round.

They've got some sort of piddly, little bridge?  Or something?  Pfftt...  We've got so many bridges there isn't room for any more of them, even if we wanted one...  There's the Great Western Way, The 50 year old New Bridge, the old Bridge, Victoria footbridge and the tastefully painted with swears and phallic symbols Greenway bridge.  Round two Hereford.

Culture?  Hull has a museum quarter, apparently.  Just a quarter though...  We've got loads of them!  Cider Museum, Waterworks Museum, that apology in the library, the Old House, The Chained Library, The Mappa Mundi museum...  Loads of culture here.

The Arts?  Can Hull even compete with some of our artistic gems?  We have art everywhere.  Everywhere!  Just one for instance, on the path from Yazor Road to Plough Lane there is an art installation in the form of a listing dog poo bin with a bad case of tourettes!  Then there is the usual shopping trolley hanging from a sign that can be seen at various locations along Great Western Way.  The hoarding around the shell of The Card Factory is worthy of winning the arts round alone! These few choices alone must knock Hull's artistic pretensions into a cocked hat?  No need to even bother mentioning The Courtyard.

You want more culture?  Look in Chadds doorway on a Saturday or Sunday morning, culture galore!

In short, I think we do ourselves a disservice when you actually think about what we have to offer.

Or not...

Oh, and Hull's river is really dirty!

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Thanks for your support Clarkester.

 

I have one small confession to make. In my litany of acrid cultural dosh, I forgot to single out an architectural gem which overshadows even Hereford Cathedral itself. And is presently clearly visible from the entrance to Hereford United Supporters Club on Blackfriars Street.

 

I refer, of course, to the three-storey facade of the extension to the Robert Owen Academy on Lower Widemarsh Street. Brutalist / Cubist I'd say (Two Wheels can correct me here), its faux-Portacabin facades finished in tasteful shades of dog turd brown, rancid cream and John Major grey. As impressive as the side of a Chinese container ship.

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You guys are too quick for me - yes more money down the pan and they have to show for £22k being spent precisely what? They could have hired a person to start weeding.  Looking around it is clear if a machine cannot do the job it is not done 

£22k was spent on this already, so where did the money go?

 

Yep, that money could have been used for something that makes sense. 

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  • 4 months later...

Admittedly Hereford has been heavily 'marked down' by the bookies as an unlikely winner of the City of Culture 2021, the short list for which is due to be announced this month. Coventry is currently enjoying the shortest odds of the 11 competing conurbations. And is it any wonder they're favorites? They've pumped £250,000 into their bid submission. Hereford's paltry investment? 22K. Less than Council Leader Tony Johnson's take-home pay. And although the official government prize is only £3-million, current Culture City Hull estimates that incoming revenue from tourism will top 20 times that amount by the end of the year.

 

EU rules British cities cannot be capitals of culture

 

At least Hereford only wasted £22,000.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You may be right but when the poppies arrive, the footfall is likely to be more than Coventry’s. please don’t let me find a retailer or food outlet not taking advantage of it in February and March! They will be named and shamed!!

Let’s be positive about the city and county, we have so much going for us.

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